It’s been a while since I talked about my experiences as a autistic person. I got two more stories that you might find interesting.
As some of you might know, I have been struggling to find a job ever since I finished college. I worked one commission job for three months, but I didn’t make any money, so I quit. I complained to my brother about my bad luck and he said it was because of ableism. Even if I don’t tell the interviewers about my autism, they can tell that something is different about me based on the way I speak. I got angry and told him that I wasn’t going to make a victim out of myself. It’s my fault that I failed those interviews. In hindsight, I’m not sure if that was the right response. I don’t like people with a victim complex (whether they’re left wing or right wing), but maybe I went too far in the opposite extreme.
This next story ties into the first one. Pixi-Gags is one of the YouTube channels I’m subscribed to. Its main series is Neurodiverse Friends; short cartoons meant to educate people about various mental disorders. I find them funny and cute. The one I want to focus on is “5 Subtle Traits of Autism”.
I could relate to most of them, but the one that really caught my attention is the second one: Non-Hierarchical Thinking. If you didn’t watch the video, it says, “Aspy doesn’t notice ranks or social status. For Aspy, every cat is a nice cat. He sees no difference between a fancy cat and a street cat.”
My first reaction was, “Wait, is that why I’m anti-woke sometimes?” I don’t see people as privileged or underprivileged, they’re just people to me. Does the same thing that makes me an oppressed minority also make me occasionally disagree with leftists? Obviously, the truth is more complicated than that, but it’s possible that my autism is a contributing factor.
Some time later, me and my friend watched the video together. When we made it to the “Non-Hierarchical Thinking” part, she said it applied to me. Later on, she told me I was a kind and tolerant person. And no, I don’t hide my politics from her. I don’t pretend to be more progressive than I really am. It’s funny how we watched the same video and came to opposite conclusions.