Merry Christmas, everyone! To be honest, I was struggling to come up with a Wednesday post for today. I couldn’t think of anything funny and/or heartwarming to draw, I didn’t have any story to share, etc. In the end, I decided to just mess around on a random website. I found the Department of Christmas Affairs.

Yes, there’s a dabbing Santa on the front page. Why are you trying to be hip with the kids? They already love you.

Anyway, I decided to check the Naughy and Nice List. I’ll type in a few of my characters’ names (or their closest real life counterparts) in the list and see what I get. Let’s start with my self-insert.

So, there’s three names and two of them are nice. Does that make me 67% nice? I’ll check my actual name and see if I get a better result.

There are six variants on the name “Jakob” and they’re all nice. “Jakobus” sounds like a Roman emperor. Why didn’t my parents name me that? I would’ve been the coolest kid in school.

While I’m at it, let’s see if my brother Double Tap in on the nice list.

Dub is on the nice list. Society was wrong; gamers do belong there. On a side note, I don’t think you should name your child “Dub”. Think of all the anime jokes they would have to put up with.

Considering the prank that he pulled on Santa, I should check Brad Joke’s place.

It’s just like I thought, he’s on the naughty list. Knowing him, he’ll probably claim his full name is “Bradalyn Jokelyn” and get himself on the nice list. We just can’t win.

After Brad Joke, let’s see the guy who keeps arresting him.

It’s good that Bobby’s on the nice list, but why is Bobbyjack on the naughty list? Anyone who’s named “Bobbyjack” is already miserable enough. Throw them a bone, Santa!

I think five names is enough. If you’re curious about anyone else, type in their name and tell me what you got. I hope you’re having a good time with your friends and family today.